


Heat's Receipt

by GSWritings



Series: The Bloodline Series [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alpha Derek Hale, Alpha Sheriff Stilinski, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Blood Rituals, Bonding Signs, Christmas, Cookies, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Stiles, M/M, Mating, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Run, Misunderstandings, Omega Stiles Stilinski, POV Stiles, Protective Derek, Stilinski Family Moments, Thoughts About Death Wishes, Werewolf Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 15:25:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8896843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GSWritings/pseuds/GSWritings
Summary: Long before Stiles ever had his first own one he’d learned that heats were meant for pleasure and joy. Yet there had always been a trace of fear when people talked about strong heats, a carefulness that couldn’t be explained by pleasure. Growing up there was something else he learned about heats, along with rules forged into his memory until he knew them better than his own name: Fear the feral Omega. If there are only the slightest signs, ensure security, call the cops and wait for their arrival. Ferals had been stories from the news until Stiles’ life slowly started to grow into a nightmare. There’s only one chance left for him now, no matter how dangerous. But will he be able to get grumpy alpha epitome Derek Hale to help him? Or is he lost?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [weatherbittensapphire](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=weatherbittensapphire).



> **HOHOHO! Merry Christmas Stereks! This is a very _secret_ Santa speaking!**  
>  This story was written as part of the [Sterek Secret Santa Gift Exchance 2016](http://stereksecretsanta.tumblr.com) for my giftee [weatherbittensapphire](http://weatherbittensapphire.tumblr.com/). Merry Christmas to you, honey!  
>  _"You know the max limit in the guidelines was 5k right? lol"_  
>  "WHAT?!"  
> -> That's my trauma for the next year, after I cancled a first fic and wrote faaaaaar more than only 5k for the present because I am stupid and obviously unable to read, or keep control over my fics and the limit entirely slipped me. ._. For you, my beloved giftee deary, my inability means this fic is a lot longer and I will post more chapters on a weekly basis from now on. Enjoy the fic (hopefully), and have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!  
> _______________________________________
> 
>  **About Tags and Warnings!**  
>  As stated above this fic is longer than this chapter and I already included a few tags for the future ones. There might or might not still be some changes coming with future uploads.  
> I chose the underage warning because this fic contains our very loved teen Stiles, who, after all, is still underage. Yes, there will be sexual content in the future.  
> _______________________________________
> 
>  **THANKS to...**  
> ...no one, **yet** because this would totally reveal who I am. 8D But please come back after boxing day to check the thanks section again!! I had a _lot_ of support here!
> 
> One person cannot be forgotten, though: [leetje](http://leetje.tumblr.com) for organizing this beautiful event, her kindness and patience. Sorry for the inconveniences, honey!

Stiles was so sick of his heats. Of the excruciating pain and hoarseness and afterwards being more sore than he could handle. Sick of being lost and dizzy and so _hopeless_ life didn’t have a meaning anymore. Of course all of this only kept torturing him because he didn’t have an alpha and of course his heat would regulate itself if he’d just get himself fucked properly. No one missed a chance to fill him in on any of this or how wonderful it was if he finally managed to find one.

 

But Stiles didn’t plan his life on getting fucked.

 

Not to cause any misunderstandings, he was a healthy teen and, yes, he wanted sex. Sex was awesome - or so he assumed - and of course the thoughts of it had consumed his mind for quite a while.

 

Until it had all gotten too much, too suffocating, too… consuming. And stubborn relentlessness had grown to outright rejection. He was clever and curious. Stiles wasn’t a brainless whore and he would never be.

 

He had to get fucking rid of it.

 

Thankfully there were libraries so he could work his way through every information he needed. It was the key piece to figuring something out since talking to anyone was completely out of the question. Mating bonds were the ultimate optimum of life in their society and no one would ever understand how Stiles could try to cripple his own biology. Let alone believe it would do him any good. If anyone knew there was no way they’d allow it so Stiles could, by all means, not expect any help.

 

The bonds were a complex system of regulated biology. A system of needs and necessity to keep alphas and omegas alike from going feral. Stiles knew very well how easily an omega could drift into a crisis over a simple rejection. His own biology was messed up enough to see an alpha worth for bonding everywhere and feel rejected all the time. The point was, a rejection wasn’t only a rejection for an omega. It was real, physical pain and a possible shutdown. Omegas needed an alpha to keep stable, their bodies demanded it. To mess with the biology could end in the last mournful day of his life.

 

And he knew it was dangerous but he still had to try. He had to get free. Get a _life_.

 

When he finally found a way to end his heat cycle in all the standard info he already knew, the main problem was to find an alpha to participate in the process. Because _of course_ to get rid of alphas he needed one's powers first. What else? He really couldn’t wait for the moment when his life would stop to center itself around the fucking alphas and since he was _so close_ to freedom he was brimming with excitement. For now, though, Stiles needed one alpha, a strong one, to make his dream come true.

 

Before he could finally make his motion, Stiles still had to wait for weeks. His cycle was right before moon and therefore a heat came in between his plans. With the messed up biology he had Stiles’ heats weren’t exactly the most normal ones. Heating without an alpha was a nuisance for every omega but Stiles was always cycling around the verge of a real bonding crisis. It was the darkest place to imagine, a time without hope, just desperate desire and excruciating pain. Whatever it was that was wrong with his body, his heats were pure torture and usually it took him a while to get back on track afterwards. He was still recovering from this one’s aftermath when Stiles centered his plans for freedom around one alpha in particular, filled with hopes he’d never been able to voice out loud.

 

The chosen alpha was like… the epitome of alphaness. Handsome, strong, broad shoulders - the kind of guy that always seemed to reek of masculinity and self-confidence. Also the guy hated Stiles and Stiles hated him so they’d be safe not to end up in any unwanted encounters no matter how alpharish the guy might be and he sure was. That was why he was perfect. His blood would certainly be strong and effective so all Stiles needed was a plan to convince him to do it. A good one. No sane alpha would ever give Stiles his blood if he knew what he wanted it for.

_____________________________

 

Two weeks later he stood in front of a giant metal door, arms packed with ingredients for harmless cookies. Christmas was just a few weeks ahead, although this house didn’t hold any signs of it - or any kind of decoration in general - and Stiles did his best to ignore the chilly air out in the staircase.

 

“Hey, Derek!”, the boy chirped in an attempt to sound casual but it kind of ended up a little bit stressed out and over excited. The alpha in question grimaced his features into a pained, somewhat vicious grin as soon as his eyes found Stiles. He didn’t look happy before either, probably did smell Stiles already before opening up the door. Having no scent protection at his entrance seemed to be just right for the paranoid bastard Derek Hale was.

 

“Stiles”, the alpha said with an exhausted sigh, although they weren’t even through the greeting yet. It was the usual thing for them. They’d met several times when Derek had helped Stiles’ dad out at the station and it never ended good - what probably made Derek the best alpha for this job. There was no way they’d accidentally mate in the process because even if his body went crazy enough over the alpha’s scent Stiles would still choke on the guy’s behaviour. Derek made no attempt to invite Stiles and stared him down instead. Yep this was the alpha he’d chosen to save his life. He’d heard irony was a thing for life saving.

 

“What do you want?”

 

Stiles didn’t even pretend to be polite and shove himself into the loft before Derek could come to the conclusion closing the door was probably the best. The mere touch as he shoved the alpha out of his way caused a shudder to crawl up his spine and Stiles put all his affords into willing it away with every firm step through the spacious loft. It was an impressive place yet unlively and empty. Stiles would never understand how someone could let such opportunities go to waste. It wasn’t like Hale didn’t have the money or something. But then again it didn’t seem like he did have much more than that either.

 

His steps led him straight towards the big desk in front of a whole wall of windows, far away from the door - and Derek for that matter. His musky alpha scent was everywhere and Stiles struggled to ignore it. He had to say something, give some kind of explanation. _Forget the alpha, it’s the ass of all people, Stiles._ So eventually he answered in a cheerful tone a simple: “Help.”

 

Thus being said Stiles put his ingredient bags down onto the table and turned to see Derek still standing at the opened door. His hand gestured at the grocery bags on Derek’s table. Aside from Stiles’ bags it was as empty as most things here.

“That’s… we’re gonna bake cookies”, he explained.

 

Even from the distance the omega could see Derek’s brows shot up as if Stiles was now officially out of his mind. And probably Derek wasn’t that wrong. Stiles felt out of his mind whenever he got close to this alpha and his fucking scent. This loft was full of his fucking scent, it literally _was_ his fucking scent. Or like he lost his mind half of the time in general due to a lot of things not as strong as Derek’s alphaness but Derek was a very strong alpha so given his messy biology that was just what was supposed to happen. It was all just one more reason to end the whole heat cycle forever. He didn’t need reproduction. He could adopt. He could go back to school, study even. He could do a lot of things if Stiles wasn’t bound to fucking alphas anymore.

 

So he added: “What? Is Derek Grumpy Hale too cool to bake cookies? Its special cookies. Like… super, alpha powerish cookies that keep me safe. Just a short thing, nothing to stress about.”

 

Derek’s brows fell down immediately and narrowed to an indescribable line of skepticism and suspicion. Derek was always suspicious with him and meanwhile he really couldn’t blame the alpha for it, Stiles couldn’t have him understand what was actually going on. But Derek spoke before Stiles could make anything up for a distraction.

 

“Why wouldn’t you be safe?”, Derek asked. “Why don’t you talk to your father about it?”

 

Yeah. Uh…. Stiles turned and pretended to be busy unpacking his bags while he was thinking. He hadn’t exactly an explanation for this with his father being both, an alpha and the Sheriff. Basically he’d hoped Derek wouldn’t ask this question but of course he did.

 

“Because my dad is my dad. And while family bonds can give the right powers sometimes they are the wrong ones in other cases”, Stiles explained and was literally proud of how confident he sounded. Really, if he didn’t know this was kind of the wrong picture he’d believe it himself.

 

“And not everything can be solved by the Sheriff”, he added quickly. He’d seen this glint in Derek’s eyes, a very dangerous glint of ‘what about’ that he had to stop before it spread. “I mean… he cannot possibly arrest every alpha, right? See? Just what I said. But I am not keen on getting raped because he has to wait until it already happened and things are starting to get out of hand lately.”

 

Derek’s brows narrowed further and further to an increasingly intimidating extent. Stiles tried to ignore it. That only meant that his alpha reacted to the threat. He was being protective in the light of a threatened omega, just the usual. This was how Derek was supposed to react as the alpha epitome he was. Nothing to do with lies and discovery, not at all.

 

“Uh… look. Stop scowling. I am just asking for a little blood and cookies, nothing else. I even paid for them myself so you can hardly say no.”

 

Derek’s brows raised again at his words - did he talk to the man or his brows?! - and to his credit Stiles might have not made the best choice of words here. Internally cursing he started again: “See, you could-”

 

“I am not giving you my blood.”

 

Stiles opened his mouth in protest and shut it without saying anything. He opened it again and closed it for another time. Fuck, he’d ruined it. He’d completely ruined it and given the look on Derek’s face when he finally moved over to him he was pretty much done with the conversation. Stiles hurried to get the table in between them. There was no touching planned here and he surely wasn’t giving up so easily.

 

“Look there’s something that can keep me safe, it’s not about much blood. It’s like, uh, warding alphas off or something. Like…. Not every alpha will be capable of getting too close, you know? And since you’re never around that wouldn’t be a problem either. I can still find an alpha, it’s not a real bond or something, just a mentoring thing.”

 

“No.” That sounded awfully definite. “No? Why no? You don’t even know what I am talking about.”

 

“I do”, Derek said, gripping Stiles’ arm with one of his giant hands as soon as he reached him and faster than the boy could have made an escape. Stiles gasped for air at the touch and a pair of suddenly red flashing eyes. His heart stumbled as the omega swallowed heavily on the sight. Fuck. He didn’t mean to get him that mad. He didn’t intend to get the alpha mad at all but Derek seemed furious now. Without any hesitation he dragged Stiles back to the still open door.

 

“Bloodlines are dangerous. If something goes wrong you block your entire system. Whatever you’re dealing with - go talk to your father and don't come here again.”

 

 _Well that is exactly the point_ , Stiles thought but before he could try again there was a rough push and Stiles struggled to stay on his feet, while the door slammed shut behind him. At the same time something extremely bitter cramped in his belly. He could hear his heartbeat speed up, the blood in his veins rushing loudly through his system. Stiles felt dizzy, frustrated, lost for a second. The memory of Derek’s touch burned underneath his sweater and over that the bitter, choking sensation of _rejection._

 

What the hell was wrong with the guy? He didn’t want to help, Stiles got it, but there was no need for the bastard to outright _reject_ him like that. His body was choking on the combination of alphaness and rejection enough to weaken his abilities and Stiles struggled to breath for a while. Touching had not been planned. _This reaction_ had not been planned. His whole world seemed to spin until he had no choice than to sit down right here in front of Derek’s door, like a stray cat, to lead his body away from the emergency shutdown it was pummeling towards.

  
Stiles hated how fucking close he always was to get there, how easily alphas could play with him and his messed up biology. You didn’t do that to an omega, Derek had to know, _everyone_ knew the danger in kicking them into a bonding crisis. _You don’t reject an omega!_ But as an alpha he could do whatever he wanted, this damn bastard and apparently Derek couldn’t care less. Stiles hated him. Stiles hated alphas. He hated all of them!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear [weatherbittensapphire](http://weatherbittensapphire.tumblr.com/),  
> I know that's unfortunately not the most christmassy ending you've got here, since this is just the beginning of the story. I hope you still like it though and there's more to come next week. :O I'd really love to hear from you on my tumblr if you like! But it's totally okay if you don't. ;) Once again a wonderful Christmas to you, honey!
> 
> And of course a big Merry Christmas to everyone else as well! :D
> 
> Yours sencerely,  
> Secret Santa #?????


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Derek's rejection Stiles struggles to bear the consequences and find another solution to his problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it finally is, the long announced second chapter! :D
> 
>  **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REPLIES!**  
>  First of all I want to apologize for the crazy delay. I announced to update weekly and really planned to, but we all know that, sometimes, life has other plans for us than we do and sometimes that brings us to a lot of different doctors. But all things are done now and I am back on track. I am super sorry that you had to wait so extremely long and cannot tell you how lovely it was to read your lovely comments during that time! Super big thanks for all the kudos and comments that you send me! It was one of the greatest things ever to hear back from you and maybe even get a glimpse of your thoughts. Especially when I was already getting back into writing your enthusiasm kind of got into me to and made it a lot easier to find back into the story. So thanks a lot! You are amazing! :D
> 
>  **Reader's Questions**  
>  Because a lot of you asked about it: Currently I have 20k + words written but not every chapter is already edited and the story is not finished yet. In fact Heat's Receipt functions more like a prelude to the real actions that will start in the second part of the series. So, yes, there is _definietely_ more to come from this story and universe! And, no, by all means, I _didn't_ give up on the story and I won't! ;)
> 
>  **Upcoming Upload Interval**  
>  Since university started again I won't be able to update weekly. I will try to edit the existing chapters as soon as possible and write on but weekly just cannot be. Sorry for that but the good news: The interval definitely won't be as long as the one from chap 1 to chap 2. I'd say that's definitely a win! xD *hides somewhere in shame* If you're afraid of missing something you can leave me a place to notify you, or even easier, subscribe to the story. It won't be too long, though. More then half of the story is already written.
> 
>  **Betas and Thanks**  
>  This chapter has not a final language beta, since all currently available betas are no native speakers. If you find any mistakes please be so kind to point me towards them - I'd love you forever!  
>  **Thanks to Himmelsdieb** for reading this story over and over and OVER AGAIN because I am never EVER satisfied. Thanks for urging me on and never getting tired of reporting on a certain scene or paragraph AGAIN. Thank you a lot! You read this so often, you almost worked as much on this as I did. xD  
>  **Also thanks to Baku** who, too, gave me feedback on the story developement and a language check in the earlier stages of the chapter. All the best to your studies, hon!
> 
>  
> 
>  **! W A R N I N G S !**  
>  This chapter turned out kinda dark. So if you are cautious about depression or thoughts about death wishes and might be triggered, **please consider not to read it**! You can contact me any time via mail.gswritings@gmail.com or my [Twitter](http://twitter.com/gswritings) and I can give you further information on what's happening and at what point it is safe to read on.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **And finally.... THE SECOND CHAPTER OF HEAT'S RECEIPT! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

 

Stiles didn’t know how he managed to keep conscious but somehow he did, although he barely remembered anything from the time he was sitting in front of Derek’s doorstep. Or lying for that matter - because apparently that was what he did when his mind slowly crawled back to him.

 

The first thing he saw after his body had started to collapse and he could see again, was old and uninviting metal in front of his face. Dizzily he raised his gaze, before his mind could catch up and followed claw traces, just within reach, to some kind of a door handle. So it was a door, a metal door. Derek’s metal door. And just like that Stiles remembered, knowing in an instant why he was laying miserable on the floor.

 

His body reacted immediately and send a bitter feeling, rising from his belly, up to his throat. It urged the pain on that was already raging inside of him, thickened the dizziness that clouded Stiles’ mind and he quickly tried to shove it away but it was too late. He _knew_ . Derek had rejected him. He had _thrown him in front of his door_ like some kind of dirt and the memory alone dragged a very low whimper from Stiles’ throat. He needed to get away from here. He needed to. Stiles knew it deep to the bone of his rejection choking body and his hurt pride alike. He needed to get away from this place.

 

The knowledge got him moving. Although Stiles was shaking, arms and legs wobbly enough to make him stumble and stagger as he tried to steady himself on his own, useless limbs. His whole world was spinning, body cramping on the rejection in painful intervals still but that was nothing new to him anymore.

 

Derek’s damn scent was everywhere, the ultimate reminder of the fact he was right here and _had thrown him out_ . This time it was a small groan that escaped Stiles’ lips at the thought. The bastard didn’t even come out to check on him. Not even that. And there was no way Derek, mistrusting psycho without scent protection at his door, wouldn’t notice what was going on. No, there was only one possible reason: Derek didn’t care. He’d thrown him into a bonding crisis and left him to rot and suffer because he didn’t give a damn and Stiles hated himself for the fact that _he_ cared. How could Stiles ever think this monster of a man would help him?

 

Swallowing bitterly the omega’s trembling fingers moved onto the metal door to steady himself. He could feel the marks of his own scratches in it as he tried to stay on his feet. For a moment he thought he might fall but then his mind zoomed in on the furrowing evidence of his desperation and somehow it got easier. It shouldn’t, it didn’t make sense but it did anyways and Stiles focused on it like a lifeline, lips opened for every breath to keep Derek’s scent out as much as possible. Of course he couldn’t lock him out completely, it was impossible but eventually Stiles made a step away from the door because he _had_ to.

 

The second he did the boy felt himself fall. Air brushed past his skin, while the realization hit him, and the next moment there was already pain exploding in his shoulder, as he crashed into the railing. It shouldn’t have come as a surprize because he knew the pain would come the moment he fell but the force of it still hit him unprepared and Stiles pressed his eyes shut with a muffled groan. Wave after painful wave rushed over him while Stiles lost his orientation once more. At the end he found himself still halfway on his feet, though and before Stiles could even think about it he forced another step out of himself. The need to get away got stronger the further his suffering went on.

 

Somehow, with the railing’s help, he managed to reach the staircase, slowly placing a foot onto the first step. Stiles was trembling, the stairs seemed to move in front of his eyes and the pain made him want to puke. With all those steps in front of him, the way down suddenly seemed to be endless. Feeling his overwhelming weakness, in the light of that long staircase, Stiles asked himself how he was supposed to make it down. He couldn’t do that. He was too weak and part of him wanted to give up. Lay down right here and press his eyes shut whatever was coming for him. He couldn’t. It was too much.

 

 _Keep going, Stiles_ , he told himself again. _You need to get outta here._ It was true but he didn’t feel it, not knowing where that even came from because he really didn’t have it in him now. Maybe pure stubbornness.

 

Whatever it was it got him moving again. So he did another step and another one. He was leaning heavily onto the railing, both hands clinging onto it with as much of a grip he could still come up with. Everything was shaking, spinning, hurting, cramping. And the whole time Stiles clung to that one thought:

 

 _He had to get out of here_.

 

Apparently there was a faster way down.

 

Somewhere in between all the painful steps he took, Stiles’ foot eventually hit one of the stairs just a bit too much at the edge and slipped. He gripped the railing tighter as he felt himself drift away from it but his hand didn’t have enough strength anymore. Stiles followed the weak fingers slide over the metal, off into the air, and for a strange moment he could proces exactly what disaster was about to come, unable to do anything against it. There was another stroke of air brushing past his skin when something inside of him tried to brace himself and Stiles fell. He fell and fell, pain exploding at so many places he couldn’t count until his vision went black and his mind blank with a wild roar in his ears.

 

As it stopped the pain stayed. Everything was pure excruciating pain and Stiles didn’t even think, oblivious to the time passing. He just endured it, while his body healed slowly, that alone already more than he could handle. At some point he realized there were noises in the distance but he couldn’t wrap his mind around what they meant. The only thing that really got through to him was the terrible pain. It was still terrible when Stiles was actually able to think again. The noises were gone, he didn’t care. He didn’t know how long he was lying here and he didn’t care either. He was just in pain, his body healing ever so slowly. Pain, pain, _pain_.

 

He wanted it to stop.

 

 _Maybe it would be better if I don’t_ , he thought, laying there with nothing else than pain and his thoughts. It would be so easy to just let go, die and get away from all the pain, all the loneliness, all the shame. It would be so easy.

 

 _That’s the Crisis_ _speaking. The rejection_ , a voice in the back of his head told him but Stiles wasn’t so sure of it. There wasn’t much left to live for. He didn’t talk to a friend in months, barely ever left the house. He was the only teen that was prohibited from school and banned from any possible future there was. What would he become? How would he live? He did nothing else anymore than struggle from one Bonding Crisis to another and the only way out seemed to be something that made Stiles’ wish to vanish only stronger. He could never bind himself to a stranger. He could never give himself away with spread legs and no rights for the rest of his being. That wasn’t a being.

 

But his dad would be all alone then. And despite all the things Stiles had lost and all the arguments about mating they had he still loved his dad. In fact, his dad was the only person who loved him back. Maybe the only person who ever would. He couldn’t leave him. Not his dad. Not after his mom already left both of them.

 

So somehow Stiles started to move again, clinging to the knowledge that he had to get out of here, that he’d never, ever cry, never let Derek hear that. And he didn’t.

 

He had no idea how much time passed or how exactly he made it down the stairs, since he couldn’t even get onto his feet, but eventually Stiles ended on the street, cold air blowing into his face, making him choke on the dirt he accidentally inhaled. It was still better than inside where Derek’s scent had been stronger.

 

Stiles literally crawled across the street, oblivious to the fact that any time a car could drive over. Part of him still thought: _Never mind, it wouldn’t be too bad._ The other crawled on with his dad in mind until Stiles reached the Jeep and somehow ended up inside.

 

It was easier here. Derek’s scent wasn’t the most dominant one but Stiles’ own, wrecked mix of pain and desperation and lust and frustration. It was at least familiar. Carefully he curled up to a ball and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pain and focus on his own scent. It was good. It was only Stiles and nothing else. Nothing else… nothing to hurt him any further. No more.

 

______________

 

 

It took him days to recover from Derek Hale.

 

His dad didn’t ask questions. It wasn’t an unusual thing to see his son struggling through a Bonding Crisis. When he came home late, the house filled with scents of pain and fear and hopelessness, the Sheriff’s first way had been up to his son’s room as usual. He’d silently made sure Stiles ate and drank, leaving his scent purposefully in Stiles’ room for the slightest hint of a relief. His dad was not an available alpha. But he was family, pack and, as long as Stiles was unmated, his alpha after all.

 

It stayed like that all days long. His dad brought food and water, left his scent and made sure to be there when he woke up screaming and tearing at sheds or his own skin likewise. Stiles remembered sad, brown eyes, knowing that it was his fault alone. He remembered to hear the door in the mornings, knowing his dad had been sleeping in his room again.

 

They didn’t have much time to talk so they didn’t, but Stiles knew there would be a conversation once he was steady enough. He knew it would never end. He knew there was no way out of this shitty life he and his dad lived if he couldn’t stop his heats.

 

So he was back at his computer as soon as he could somehow manage to move the mouse, with pain still cramping in his body. There had to be a way, any way. If not this ritual than another one, he didn’t care. But Stiles wouldn’t find anything. Nothing. He managed to not puke onto his keyboard, collapsed three times to wake up on the floor beside his desk, but he never found any hint to another possibility than have an alpha cast his power.

 

And that only made it worse. The Crisis, the fear, everything. Because talking to Derek had already been a great risk and if he wouldn’t be such a fucking ass he would long have told Stiles’ dad. Every other alpha surely would.

 

He’d thought about taking the blood by force but that only got him  back to puking, so Stiles ended up on his bed, lungs cramping in his hectic breathings, trying to give more and more oxygen to his system. He’d have to do it, he’d have to find an alpha. And if that alpha handed him to his dad he’d get force bounded. It was a hit or miss chance and Stiles’ panic attack wouldn’t stop this time. Not before his dad arrived and teared him out of it.

 

____________

 

 

It was also the moment when they finally talked. Stiles could see it coming when the Sheriff, still sitting behind him and holding him tight, went silent. Stiles couldn’t help but tense up, knowing what was about to come.

 

“You can’t drag this out forever” he said. Stiles narrowed his brows, pressing his teeth together. “This is going to get worse. It has to stop, Stiles.”

 

“Well then why don’t you finally give me suppressants?” he snapped.

 

“You know that’s not possible.”

 

“Yeah, because for some reason it’s more healthy to skip school and claw at your skin and lose your mind than get good education, a future and a fucking life!”

 

He could feel his father sigh behind his back as the sound left the man’s lips. “You can have a life. You will find a mate and everything will get back to normal. If you wouldn’t be so stubborn you could already be okay.”

 

He didn’t hold Stiles when the boy withdrew but when Stiles turned to look at him he could see the same look in his father’s eyes he always wore when they talked about this. It only urged him on more, anger and frustration rising in his tired body.

 

“What’s okay about this, dad? What’s so wrong about being independent that you keep pushing me to some stranger?”

 

His father’s brows rose skeptically. “We’ve talked about this often enough, son. You know it doesn’t have to be a stranger. You could find someone you actually like, Stiles. The only thing you can’t keep doing is this. You’re never gonna make it until eighteen to set your life on suppressants.”

 

Stiles’ mouth fell open. “I wasn’t-” he started but his dad raised his eyebrows and made him stop. “I know what you are doing, Stiles. You can’t. If you don’t pay attention you will get feral long before eighteen and a forced bonding is the best thing you can get then. It wouldn’t even make you happy if you could do it.”

 

Stiles didn’t answer. There wasn’t much he could say since both of them knew his dad was right. He wouldn’t only suffer more, he would also lose the last bits of his senses, sooner or later. Losing it wasn’t just a feeling when the Crisis hit. He actually was, each time a little bit more. But he couldn’t just mate. He couldn’t just give himself up.

 

“Go out, Stiles, find a mate. Do what other teens do. I never told you much what to do but this time I’d really appreciate it if you do this the normal way.”

 

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do it any way.

 

There was a heavy hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently before his dad got up and left the room. He wouldn’t understand, not ever. No one would.

  
The only way Stiles had, more than ever, was that ritual. Because his dad might be wrong about losing his biology being a loss but he was right with one thing: Stiles was never gonna make it until eighteen without turning feral. He _had_ to do the ritual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope the chapter lived up to your expetations and you enjoyed it. I always love to hear back to you and talk about your thoughts and speculations, so never feel shy about contacting me!
> 
> Next Update will be in about two weeks or something but no exact promises. It might be earlier, it might be later. I will keep it soon, though.
> 
> Thanks again for all your love. A wonderful weekend to all of you!
> 
> GS Writings


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles never wanted to see Derek again. Never. But his need for a solution drives him back to the alpha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dear readers, thank you a lot for still sticking with me and leaving me all the sweet kudos and comments! Things are so chaotic but I keep thinking of you guys. So I've found a bit time and tried to make chapter three ready. I personally always kinda liked this chapter despite how short it is. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! :D
> 
> For information about updates check the end notes, please.
> 
> PS: There was no final beta reading since currently I am glad to find the time to upload and do it instead of waiting for betas before the time is gone again. 8D Forgive me for all the mistakes and I am glad if you point them out to me! :D

**Chapter Three**

 

“I am _not_ gonna help you with this”, Derek said angrily when he laid in wait at the alpha’s Camaro, about a month after their last meeting. It was Christmas Eve, the town glowed in colorful lights and hopeful eyes except for theirs.

 

Stiles had _tried_ to find another alpha. After Derek had left him choking on his doorstep for hours before Stiles could get up again, without coming back to check on him once, there was no way he’d ever want to see him again. So he’d tried, desperately. He’d even carefully talked to Deputy Parrish about it but it had only lead to another speech on how there are programs for this if he needed help and if he didn’t like strangers involved even Parrish would be willing to help out. “There are solutions for this, Stiles. We can help you. Don’t worry about it and don’t do anything stupid. I know it’s been rough on you lately but you don’t have to deal with it alone”, he’d said.

 

But he knew nothing. He was an alpha and he had no idea how _chainsaws ripping your flesh apart_ felt like, or how dark the world looked like from the middle of a lone heat. Fuck, he didn’t even know how it felt to wither in the need for _someone_ without it even being sexual as long as there was fucking _something_ in this whole damn world. He knew nothing, no one did. Not even the other omegas since no one had to face _this_ , let alone a fucking, damn alpha.

 

And really? Parrish was _nice_. Having someone seemingly care and actually offering some help was tearing at him so much that Stiles locked himself up in his bedroom as much as he could for two days, trying to get his body back to senses, because especially after what happened with Derek he lost it once again.

 

It was almost unbearable but he’d long stopped calling the docs when his bonding crisis took over. They didn’t do much, not even ease his pain by suppressants. All they did was taking him in under watch to make sure his vitals were alright, telling him how much he needed to give in to his biology and get himself fucked by an alpha. It was the most humiliating thing Stiles had ever experienced to be watched stuffing himself up with whatever he could find, crying, screaming while he was obviously losing his mind. He couldn’t take it anymore.

 

So instead Stiles had isolated himself more and more with his system coming closer and closer to a final collapse the longer he stayed alone. The encounters with Derek and Parrish had been crucial hits to his hardly balanced biology. He felt more urgent than ever before.

 

So Stiles had found himself kind of desperately back at Derek’s door as soon as he could handle to get out of the house but no one had opened. Weeks had passed and the more Derek ditched him the more Stiles could feel an edge under his needs and frustration over the rejection. An unfamiliar strong anger that he knew was getting closer to a feral omega than it should.

 

Standing in front of him now, looking right at the rejection in the alpha’s angry face in all its intensity, Stiles could feel the need to tear apart and roar dangerously close to the surface. He was falling with each second and he was _so_ close to snap over the edge.

 

“ _Don’t_ you dare leaving me behind!” he hissed almost growling and Derek stopped mid track where he was about to enter the car. Whatever he’d caught, he seemed to have caught something because the look on his eyes as Derek turned to look at Stiles was cautious.

 

Christmas music erupted from the nearby shopping center, filling the short moment of silence between them. It made Stiles feel all the more feral, feeling the thirst to spill blood while all he should feel these days should be something that was peaceful and happy. But it was _Christmas_ and it was the worst time of the year ever since his mom died and there was no time he’d feel more lost and lonely and desperate than now. He’d not let this bastard get away. He couldn’t.

 

“You cannot just _ditch_ me, Derek! You are an alpha. You are _bound by law_ to help an omega in need!” Stiles spit the words out like the poison that was running through his veins and yet he couldn’t hold back how _hurt_ he was by it. He was brimming with hurt, brimming with anger.

 

Derek’s eyes scanned Stiles’ face carefully and the omega’s heart sank. It was obvious how unsettled he was currently, Derek had to know, had to see and _smell_ it all around him. He’d call the cops. They’d lock him up, put him into forced bonding with some fitting stranger and Stiles’ freedom would be lost forever. He had to behave, had to keep control but his breath wouldn’t stop to tremble anymore. Stiles looked around, almost expecting everyone to look at him in shock but no one seemed to be close enough. No one except Derek and Stiles already knew he couldn’t trust this man.

 

When Stiles looked back, Derek was turning more towards him in a slow, calculated movement. It was so stupid how the burning anger inside Stiles eased just a tiny little bit finding himself finally under attention - even if he didn’t know yet what Derek was about to do. He might as well tackle him down to hand him over to the cops.

 

“It’s too dangerous, Stiles” he said with a surprisingly gentle voice. It was still matter of factly but all Stiles had ever known from this man was rough rejection, mockery and anger. This was startling. But despite their tone the words send something sharp and absolute through his insides as fierce as lightning. Stiles didn’t need to see Derek’s eyes switch into alarm to know something just flashed through his own eyes.

 

Reflexively he looked away, claws pressing against his palms to keep control. The music changed and roared over the parking lot with a cheerful _Jingle bells_ interpretation, while Stiles’ mind raced through all the options what they’d do to him as a feral omega. How they’d hold his naked body down for the alpha until he snapped back out of feral and was left alone with this stranger as his life mate. Or possibly things going down bad enough to get shot instead. Maybe even rip out Parrish’s throat and get shot by his own dad who’d be left alone with no family after he lost his son, too. Fear washed over him, flooded him and he heard how his breath speed up a bit. He felt so lonely. He felt so angry. He wanted to cry and scream and bolt and tear something apart all at once.

 

“You’re not gonna get into the car with me”, Derek said again and Stiles’ eyes shot back up to him. But the look on Derek’s face wasn’t as closed up anymore. It wasn’t rejection. Shortly Stiles shook his head, knowing too well that it was out of the question. It meant too much closeness, too much closed room. It would only end in heavy sex or, regarding his state, tearing body parts into shreds - maybe both.

 

“I will meet you at the loft”, Derek said again slowly. He sounded like he was talking to a panicking animal which was probably exactly what Stiles was right now. “We’ll talk there.”

 

It could be a solution. It could finally be what he’d wanted all the time. Or a trap to have him secured without getting too close. Derek was an ass, not inexperienced. He probably knew exactly the amount of danger that currently brimmed within him. But Stiles didn’t have an alternative. If he bolted every Deputy in the country would be looking for him, every civilian would run from him. No one would help him and he’d end up going feral for real.

 

Stiles swallowed heavily, bringing his hand up to wander over his face when he nodded. By now the trembling had taken over his whole body and he only managed to swipe down his face half of the time, fingers bouncing off in heavy spasms that he tried to hold under control.

 

“Get into the car”, Derek said again slowly. “Drive to the loft.” Stiles struggled with the relief flooding his veins. It would probably be over soon. He just had to get into the car, he told himself, unconsciously letting himself be guided by Derek’s deep voice.

 

“I’ll meet you there.”

 

There it was again. He swallowed, finally able to will his body into motion.

 

 

_____________________________________________

 

 

When Stiles eventually walked up to the loft he noticed the acrid smell of scent suppressants lingering everywhere. It was a great relief for his senses to not get drowned in the heavy alpha scents again and he was actually kinda thankful.

 

It also meant Derek’s own instincts would stirr at the loss of his territorial surroundings. It was nothing an alpha did if he didn’t believe it was really necessary, because it went straight against all their instincts and Stiles asked himself for the hundredth time if this was a good idea. As relieving as it was, Derek’s action only showed how obvious Stiles’ current state was to him. Maybe he should bolt. He could. Nothing was faster than an omega, so he could if he wanted to.

 

He’d spent half an hour down in the driver’s seat of his Jeep trying to make a decision on this matter and to somehow get back into control of his own body. Of course the Camaro had already been there, when Stiles arrived and it was kind of relieving to see a sign that Derek was going to keep his promise but the alpha also had more than enough time to call the cops. Given the law and Derek’s earlier rejections there was no reason for the older wolf to hesitate.

 

The law was pitch clear: Get the omega under control, call the cops and wait for them to arrive. Stiles had no idea how often those words had been forged into his mind in case an omega might even be close to going feral.

 

But no sirens had suddenly erupted, no scent of wolfsbane had made it into his Jeep. In fact nothing happened. Nothing at all, except for Derek watching him from the broad window of his loft. And with time and threats passing the uproar that held Stiles had eased down a bit. He was still shaky, tense like he’d never been before but he clung to the thought that Derek said they’d talk. Someone was going to help him and soon everything could be over. There were no alpha scents around to irritate him and why ever he didn’t Derek didn’t call the cops. At least he hoped it. So Stiles tried to shove his doubts away as he reached the giant metal door.

 

Stiles could smell himself by now. A heavy mixture of whatever scents an omega could produce. Fear and lust and anger and hope and the bitter edge of feral wrath. He felt like a child peeing into his pants and when the door opened before Stiles could do so much as knock he dropped his gaze immediately. Derek seemed to just look at him for a while until Stiles couldn’t help it and peered up. His expression was unreadable.

 

_ He didn’t call the cops _ , Stiles reminded himself.  _ He might actually help you this time _ .

 

Derek went back in, the door still open, without a word. Stiles only hesitated for a second. There was no sign of anyone other than them in here. He still stayed where he was, right at the door and ready to bolt. Funny how this time it was Stiles safely at the door and Derek keeping his distance at the huge table like Stiles did the last time.

 

The alpha watched him for another moment before he broke the silence where Stiles was still struggling with himself: “Why do you need this blood so badly?”

 

It was a simple and fair question but Stiles found it difficult to concentrate. He’d reached a point when he didn’t know what he felt anymore, only that it was too much. He felt so exhausted and worn, still shaky and tense. Trying to remember his plan he swallowed slightly.

 

“My heats”, he finally said and took a breath. “They’re getting… they’re affecting people. I can’t….” He swallowed again and licked over his dry lips. “They’re gonna force-claim me,  _ someone _ ’s gonna force-claim me. A doctor, a neighbour, I-”

 

His voice broke and Stiles swallowed again for the third time. But the pressure didn’t leave and he didn’t find more words.

 

“What about suppressants? I thought-”

 

“I don’t get suppressants! I am underage. They want me to live my biology but my biology screams  _ rape _ !”

 

Derek shifted where he was leaning against the table. For a moment there was silence and Stiles almost expected him to ask why he’s not going to a facility to find a fucking mate at last. Instead he asked: “Why not your dad?”

 

Stiles felt the tension in himself ease a little bit although he could tell Derek wasn’t done testing him. He tried to breath, his chest still tense. So much was still roaring inside him.

 

“I told you: It doesn’t work for dad’s. It’s… It wards them off, kind of, the alphas. Dad’s aren’t sexual content for god’s sake. With another alpha that’s different. Your power will shield me.”

 

And it wasn’t even a lie. Stiles had worked long on how he’d explain this to make sure there wouldn’t be a lie audible anywhere. The room was silent for a long while now and Stiles started to get nervous again. More nervous than he already was.

 

It was now or never, he could feel it. Stiles felt so close to the edge he knew he couldn’t take it any longer. He’d lose it. Sooner or later he’d lose it, maybe right after the wrong answer. And if not Derek would deliver him to his dad. His dad would find out. Stiles would get into forced bonding. And there they were again, all those fears he’d been trying to ward off for all this time. There was no good end to this. Not if Derek didn’t help him. He needed him now more than Stiles had ever needed anything in his life, no matter how much he hated it. Derek held his whole life in his hands.

 

What if he wouldn’t help? What then? Stiles’ thoughts kept circling around every inch of his end, heart speeding up, hands sweating. His mind was racing, searching for a solution and he was already on the verge to blindly run.

 

“Okay.”

 

Stiles’ eyes widened and the same moment his heart speed up to another race. “ _ What _ ?”

 

“I’ll give you my blood. But I will personally mix the ingredients.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, another cliffhanger and, no, it wasn't the last one! xD I really hope you liked the chapter. As always feel free to leave comments or contact me on other platforms to chat. As hard as it is to write chapters quickly I can always manage to answer you pretty quick. ;)
> 
> The next chapter will most likely come more quickly but clearly my life is too unstable currently to make any promises but I know that it is already finished and so far I should have a bit spare time next week again. I cannot promise anything though. Even if it takes longer, it will definitely come. No matter how long it takes, I won't be gone.
> 
> All the best to all of you! :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the verge of turning to a feral omega Stiles _finally_ gets to fulfill his dream and perform the ritual. But it is a wicked beast of an unknown power and the outcome might be even more dangerous.  
>  Will he survive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back to the rodeo of my unregular posting schedule!
> 
> First of all I want to thank you a lot. Every time I check out my kudo count I am bewildered at how many of you guys like this story enough to klick the button and the likes keep coming. It is such a wonderful gift of you to give to an author and it means a lot to me personally. So thank you very much! For all your kudos and all your comments that I cannot explain how I enjoy them, even the shortest ones.   
> When I started to write and post this story I really wasn't sure of what I was doing. My betas and friends kept telling me they liked the story but it still means something else whenever it comes from a foreigner. Back then a lot of things were really difficult and sometimes it was just you who made me keep posting. Since you wanted to read it, why not post it. Today I really start to like the story. I thought it wasn't good enough but I can be satisfied now and I have a crazy amount of fun planning ahead. This wouldn't be if not for your enthusiasm that made me curiously reread my own text, wondering why you liked it.  
> So if you ever wondered if it matters, I notice every click and every comment you leave me - and love it right back.  
>  **Thank you!**
> 
> For the additional thanks, they go - as always - to himmelsdieb, also known as artsandphotograph and incredible art on tumblr, as well as Baku. Again I did the final betawork on my own for this one but back when I first wrote the chapters they did an amazing work for me and I hope they still do me the favor of beta reading when I get to the last chapter. It's the only one that actually needs some writing. ;)
> 
> Long story short, we are heading towards the climax! I hope you guys are prepared. :)
> 
> For news on updates and more check the end of the chapter as always.

**Chapter Four**

 

It smelled seductively of cinnamon and chocolate under the heavy blanket of suppressants what made the obviously unused kitchen in Derek’s loft seem unfamiliar lively. Stiles wondered what the guy ate if he didn’t use his kitchen but didn’t bother to ask. The smell was reassuring for his nerves. His nervous omega instincts absorbed any sensation of warmth and home they could get - even a strange illusion of it.

 

The delicious scents weren’t what he was curiously sniffing after, though.

 

“Stiles.”

 

There was a warning in the alpha’s voice that didn’t slip Stiles’ attention and he stopped sniffing the test glass to look up at him. “What? I am just sniffing.”

 

“I see what you’re doing”, Derek said and took the glass out of his hand to put it back onto its stand. 

 

Stiles’ nerves had slightly settled over the last hour. They had made sure the scent suppressants stayed strong the entire time and the fact that he didn’t had to fight as much for once had loosened Stiles’ tension. Of course any kind of body contact was an absolute no go, though, which was why he let the glass slip out of his hands as soon as he saw Derek reach for it - almost a little bit too fast.

 

Derek shot him a warning glare, moving the stand out of his reach and Stiles stepped back with a sigh, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans.

 

The alpha has been acting that way the entire time by now. The mission was to bake cookies  _ together _ , or so Stiles had stated, but he wasn’t quite sure the older one had any kind of knowledge about the concept. Whatever Stiles touched, whenever he got close to a knife or the oven or anything else that might possibly be a thread, Stiles found himself out of the way more quickly than he could actually get in touch. He started wondering if it was Derek’s way of letting him know how stupid he thought Stiles was and bossing him around, or the older one wasn’t entirely unaffected by the smells Stiles had been sending out all day. 

 

To his surprise Derek knew quite a few things about bloodlines, though, and at first he’d been worried his plans would be discovered. But with progress showing Stiles felt relief in seeing the alpha’s hands mix the ingredients up quite expertly. He couldn’t trust his own ones since they were still occasionally trembling and his concentration was still a mess. 

 

Both things kind of had helped to make him settle down enough to be more like his usual self. As much as he wanted to stay independent, after all the pressure it felt good to know things were solved without any need to worry about them.

 

“I’ll check on the cookies, then”, Stiles said and turned just to realize the very next moment there was something invading his private space. In a hurry the boy retreated from the oven and saw Derek fucking Hale check on the cookies himself. Of course he would. It was attempt number eight of his to do  _ something  _ and obviously Derek had other plans.

 

Stiles  rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah. Alright. I am all incapable of checking damn cookies”, he said. “Has to be the omeganess. Thank you, oh mighty alpha wolf.”

 

Derek shot him another glare but didn’t say anything. Instead he went back to the table, his hands rolling up one of his sleeves. It was then that Stiles felt his heartbeat suddenly speed up again, the nervousness creeping back in. Something in him realized what was about to happen, even before Derek said it.

 

The blood. It was all about the blood now.

 

Stiles swallowed, watching how Derek eventually extended his claws and looked up at him. The alpha kept his gaze on Stiles with raised brows, for some reason not going any further, yet. Just one and he’d spill blood, just one small movement. Something tingled in Stiles’ belly and he felt the heat rising again. He was dizzy.

 

“The cookies are almost ready for the next step” Derek said eventually. The gaze of his pale eyes was laying intently on the omega. Something thickened in the boy’s throat. “Do you want to go out for this?”

 

There was no immediate answer. Stiles was still looking at Derek’s claws and his bared arm, heat and a strange claustrophobic feeling continuously rising in his chest, that he couldn’t quite explain. Stiles swallowed again and wiped his hands on his own jeans for another time. Why was he so nervous?

 

“Does it…. Does it take much? Blood, I mean. ... It’s just a small … scratch or something, a cut maybe, nothing… crucial. Right?”

 

He could see Derek’s brows raise even further. His nostrils flared slightly and Stiles really didn’t want to know what kind of scent the alpha had caught just know. His skin felt so small again, he couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he breathe?

 

“Do you-”, he tried but Derek eventually interrupted his words, voice firm and patient although there was a trace of annoyance in there.

 

“I am certainly not damaging myself.”

 

Stiles blinked. Yeah. Sure. Why would he do that, right? “I… I wasn’t worried about that.”

 

But the moment he said the words Stiles heard his own heart skip a beat. Just a small, short note mocking all the hate he’d been feeling for the last months. Maybe the suppressants didn’t work as much. Maybe Derek’s scent was getting to him after all. And maybe, yes, he should definitely leave the room until the alpha had worked his alpha power.

 

“The scent will be strong. Stronger than anything else you’ve smelled before”, Derek clarified. Stiles shot him a short glance and fled the scene.

 

_____________________________________________________

 

Apparently Derek was right. The scent was strong enough to follow him down onto the street. Never did he expect the impact that the moment Derek spilled his blood for him would have. Stiles’ entire body suddenly cramped without warning, pressing every air out of his lungs and sending him straight down onto the floor.

 

Minutes passed until Stiles could make it back up to the loft, confused over his reaction and lightheaded, just to find Derek long healed beside a bowl filled with cookies. It was such a normal and domestic sight Stiles almost let out a somewhat hysterical laugh.

 

He didn’t laugh, though. His eyes were fixed on the cookies, the scent of fresh suppressants fighting to overlay the cinnamon and chocolate tingling his nose. The cookies looked so strangely normal. No signs of alpha blood or secret powers that would soon block his heats away forever. No powers making him… what exactly? Half an omega? An altered, better form of himself? Or damaged? But right now he already was damaged with this crazy cycle. 

 

He’d be free. Forever free.

 

Slowly Stiles walked over and settled down on one of the chairs to take one cookie into his hand. He’d get into trouble as soon as everyone would find out. It wasn’t before his next heat would stay away. Maybe Stiles would be able to keep the secret a little bit longer, going through the tests they’d do at the clinic as if he had no clue what was going on but it would mean to feign uselessness for more weeks, while he was actually free. He could do whatever he wanted, chose whoever he wanted...

Stiles stopped there for a moment. He didn’t think about the other alphas before. What would they say if they found out Stiles would never ever be able to get children? Would anyone be interested in him? Would he be a suitable mate for anyone?

 

“You don’t have to do it.”

 

Stiles looked up to find Derek’s steady gaze on him for god knew how long. He’d obviously been watching him and Stiles tried to look as confident as possible when one was about to find out how dangerous bloodlines could really get. Because that was what it was. Dangerous. It could all end up so awful. If there was some kind of mistake in it Stiles could even die.

 

“Of course I have to”, he said as casual as possible. “It will be fine. I’ll be good. Don’t look at me like that.”

 

Stiles shove the cookie into his mouth and started chewing, pushing all thoughts about rejection and death or blood cookies away. There was a strange note in Derek’s expression that Stiles couldn’t quite name. He took another cookie, when there was no urge to puke and another one, the silence spreading between the both of them.  _ Worry _ , he thought. As strange as it was Derek looked worried.

 

“How many cookies do I have to eat? I mean, they taste surprisingly good given the fact there’s your blood in there but shouldn’t there be some kind of… change?”

 

Derek’s gaze didn’t falter. He kept looking at Stiles, unmoved by the omega’s casual voice, with the same worried expression he’s had since he’d seen Stiles with the cookie in his hand. The omega shifted a little bit on his seat.

 

“It will come.”

 

“Yeah but when?” Stiles took another one. “I feel the same as before. Do I need to eat all of them? Oh God, stop looking at me, you’re making me nervous.”

 

Derek didn’t stop. His strange gaze stayed glued to him the entire time.

 

“Come on. I am fine, obviously. Relax.”

 

But Stiles didn’t know to whom he was actually talking to. Derek or himself. He shifted again, cautiously taking another cookie. Derek’s fucking gaze was so intimidating he felt heat rise into his cheeks. Even Stiles’ skin tingled a little bit under the attention. What the hell was he up to? He’d never cared about Stiles before.

 

“Dude! It's not normal to look at someone like that, okay? You don’t do that. It’s intimidating. It’s fucking rude. Have at least the decency to blink.”

 

Stiles took another cookie, a little bit harsher than necessary and started to roll up his sleeves. The cold surface of the table felt good. He could feel his heartbeat stronger in his chest. For god’s sake, why did Derek have to act like the creeper he was? Stiles had other business to do now. Like figuring out his new being, enjoying his freedom as soon as he knew he wouldn’t collapse. This was exactly why he didn’t like alphas. Fucking ignorant bastards, all of them. When he swallowed the last remains of his latest cookie, Stiles snorted pointedly. He wouldn’t let himself get mocked by a damn alpha, not anymore. He was free now. He could withstand anything now.

 

It wasn’t until he saw Derek’s nostrils flare in a tiny little movement, almost invisible, until Stiles realized what the heat didn’t feel as if by embarrassment but something familiar that would totally make the alpha’s nose react - and in an instant his whole expression fell.

 

“What’s going on?”, he asked, the alarm audible in his voice. His gaze fell onto the cookie in his hand as he felt the lingering, burning heat deep within him slowly rise and he let it fall onto the table.

 

“Derek?” Stiles could hear the rising fear in his own voice. It was different than he was used to but tense and lingering so deep within him that Stiles saw the mere force that was coming at him. Derek didn’t answer. He was still watching silently until Stiles got up from his chair.

 

“What’s going on Derek?! I… It’s supposed to vanish, isn’t it? Why isn’t the heat vanishing?!”

 

“Relax, Stiles. Don’t fight it”, Derek finally said and Stiles’ vision began spinning. He realized that he was leaning on the counter now, a familiar pressure in his pants that wasn’t supposed to happen. His whole skin had started burning. Whatever happened, the process quickened.

 

“What does that mean? What-?”

 

He tried to breathe but he couldn’t. Everything was burning. His lungs, his skin, his insides. Stiles desperately gasped for air.

 

“Don’t fight it, Stiles” Derek’s deep voice said again. “You’ll feel clearer when it is over. Just dive in. Everything you need is here.”

 

And then it clicked. 

 

The shock burst through him like a cold lightning bolt. Anger and even hurt rose, mixing into the heat simultaneously as he felt the first convulsions tear at his insides. Stiles swallowed a scream.

 

“You did this!”, he spit out breathlessly. “You changed the ingredients!” He should have fucking  _ known _ he couldn’t trust him!

 

Stiles felt his claws emerge from the tips of his fingers with the sound of cracking wood, felt himself cling to the doorknob of a shelf. Everything seemed cold against his body but nothing eased the heat away. Another convulsion and Stiles whimpered. He was in heat. He was in fucking heat. It was supposed to be over!

 

“You lied to me!”

 

There was a snort and Stiles saw vaguely in the corner of his eyes how the alpha retreated to the door. “You’re one to speak. Do you even know what  _ The Last Meal _ is?” He was speaking through gritted teeth and Stiles realized the heavy musky scent lingering in the air that literally  _ screamed _ ‘Alpha!’. Derek was yearning for him, hungry for a little touch, a lick, a thrust. Stiles’ scent had to be unbearable for the alpha and Stiles own body was well aware of this fact. His body wanted him, too. “It was used by Assassins when they knew they wouldn’t come back”, the older one spat at him.

 

Stiles could barely follow. He still couldn’t breath. Over and over his body cramped together with a force he didn’t know yet. What kind of damn heat was this? What the hell did Derek do with the receipt? Everything Derek said didn’t make any sense and just went under in his pain.

 

“What-? What the hell are you… talking about?!”, Stiles got out and finally let go of the shelf’s door knob to drop and form a ball on the floor. He didn’t have the strength anymore. The world was spinning wildly. His entire abdomen was filled with terrible pain from deep within him that kept getting slowly stronger.

 

“They offered their cycle for a clear mind because it didn’t matter if they’d die afterwards since they were on a suicide mission. You were going to kill yourself, you idiot!”

 

He couldn’t wrap his mind around Derek’s words. The pain got stronger and stronger. He couldn’t say if it was up front or from within his cheeks. It was just there, everywhere and Stiles couldn’t take it anymore. He reached down to try and open his jeans for a relief. His ass was wet, long ready for this and he  _ needed _ the pain to end. But Stiles never got to finish his motion. With the next convulsion he lost it.

 

“Aaaaahhhh!”

 

First he didn’t realize the scream was his own until he felt Derek somewhere beside him. “Stiles?” the alpha’s voice asked. Worried, pale eyes appeared within his vision as it started to get entirely blurry. Another scream, more pain. He realized a voice, someone calling his name but he didn’t really get who anymore. This was worse. This was worse than any heat he’d ever felt. There was absolutely no pleasure in it, only plain, excruciating, torturing pain.

 

**And then his world went black.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No I won't stop the cliff-hangers. xD  
> But I hope you still enjoyed the story so far, especially as some of you have waited for so long. I totally love hearing back from you guys and if anyone is concerned about Derek's actions please be patient for the next chapters. ;D
> 
> Talking about next chapters! :D  
> There actually is a freaking plan for finishing this story! Who is with me from the beginning or remembers the front note of the first chap knows that this story started almost a year ago as a Secret Santa gift for weatherbittensapphire. After this one there are only two chapters left and comming closer to christmas this story's anniversary is also just two months ahead..... :)   
> :) ... :) ... :)  
> You guessed right! The next chapter will be posted in November (no particular date) and the last one - anniversary, anniversary - with the Secret Santa gifts on Christmas Eve!  
> I am super excited for the upcoming chapters. There's a lot going on, a lot of reveals going to be made and I am so.fucking.curious about what you will think. :D
> 
> Also if you are interested: I am participating in the Secret Santa event again this year. Just something short this year (because time issues) but I am in and I have something else in stock already that's also going to be posted within christmas time. Check out my tumblr gswritings for this one when it is all christmassy outside. ;)
> 
> Thanks again and until next month! :D


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